You are invited to an IFS-informed, experiential exploration of the 10 Guideposts to Wholehearted Living by Brene Brown (In her Gifts of Imperfection Book) to access more Self/Soul Energy and to understand the parts that get in the way in a series of workshops.

What If we could allow in and access more compassion, connection, courage, clarity and creativity?

I am on a journey to live more and more from within my Self or I often refer to my Core Self as: Soul/Spirit or Divine Essence. In Internal Family Systems (IFS), Richard Schwartz, the founder of IFS, refers to Soul/Spirit as Self or Self Energy with a capital S. We know we are in Self or Self-Energy when we feel compassion, connection, curiousity, clarity, calm, courage, confidence, creativity as well as presence, perspective, patience, persistence, and playfulness. (read more about IFS here).

Self Energy to me, or living from my Soul/Spirit feels directly linked to Brene Brown’s research into Wholehearted Living….yet reflecting on my journey with wholehearted living, or Brene’s own journey (more below)….we all have so many other protective or vulnerable parts of us, younger parts, that adopted many different coping / protective strategies when we were young that try to keep us safe and run our lives from a place of protection not from Self/Soul or true belonging, part of Wholehearted Living.

What if we could release our parts from roles of perfectionism, people pleasing, fear of judgement, self doubt, needing certainty, fearing scarcity and wanting to numb? And instead find a way to live more Wholeheartedly?

I’m curious, what would it be like to explore the 10 guideposts of wholehearted living (below) through an IFS-informed practice of getting to know the parts that get in the way? For example what are the parts within that are concerned about what others think and are constantly striving for perfection rather than living from a place of authentic Self and Self-Compassion? What are the parts that want to numb and that fear scarcity/lack rather than living from a place of resilience, gratitude and joy? What are the parts obsessing with the need for certainty and comparison, rather than trusting intuition, faith and creativity? What are the parts hooked on productivity, exhaustion and anxiety rather than play, rest,calm and stillness? What are the parts consumed with self-doubt and being in control rather than engaging in meaningful work and laughter, song and dance?

When do these parts get triggered and try to run this life as if they were the CEO of your internal system, rather than letting your Core Self be in charge?

How we might combine IFS with the Wholehearted Living Guideposts?

The IFS approach is to get to know our younger parts with curiousity and compassion and when they feel heard and seen the Self Energy that is always there, never damaged, can begin to emerge spontaneously. Just like how the sun is always there behind a cloudy, stormy day, the Self is always there, even if covered over and long forgotten. I am curious to find out if we explore the parts that get in the way of the 10 guideposts of wholehearted living will more of these qualities of Self begin to emerge, be more easily accessed?

Are your parts willing to join me on a journey to explore our parts and the qualities of Self-Energy / Wholehearted Living?

Take a moment and tune in to what your parts say to this invitation? If you are like me you may have excited parts, scared parts and parts sitting on the fence! What does your Core Self/Soul say when you get really quiet and listen in? My Self/Soul is excited and my parts are keen to be seen and heard.

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My Experience with Gifts of Imperfection

I have reread and reread Brene Brown’s book Gifts of Imperfection – I remember being a little blown away when I first read Brene’s Wholehearted quote above (maybe in 2016?) and wondered was it really possible to feel enough, to feel worthy of love and belonging? To feel brave and afraid at the same time?

Brene Brown’s research into Wholehearted Living seemed irrefutable as she studied 1000’s of people’s lives in detail, across cultures and diverse groups and even had her own spiritual awakening (not a breakdown!) when she realised that she needed therapy to learn to live more wholeheartedly!

Since 2017 I have explored the Gifts of Imperfection in many different forms and have brought the themes of Wholehearted Living into women’s circles, workshops and counselling/coaching as well as trying to live wholeheartedly, to embody wholehearted living in all aspects of my life through my own explorations, learning and personal therapy/coaching.

It was fascinating to complete Brene’s new Wholehearted Living Inventory recently (link below) and visualise how far I have come in embracing calm and stillness, creativity, resilience, play and rest, meaningful work and living aligned with my values and yet also to see how far I still have to go in being authentic, feeling self-compassion, and experiencing gratitude, joy, laughter, song and dance.

As Brene Brown acknowledges we may never get to experiencing these qualities even 75% of the time.The inventory really helps me to see that this is a life-long journey of embracing imperfection and vulnerability with many layers of healing.

As I write this it seems incredible to have an inventory (link below) that represents how much a bookof research has influenced your life over the years! Of course it wasn’t just this book, this book was just the beginnings of more reading, more learning, life changes, courses, career changes, personal therapy and coaching…and yet so many of these changes stemmed from reading the Gifts of Imperfection – thank you Brene!

The adventure of wholehearted living launched my work, continues to inform my relationship(s)…, helps me find the courage to be the parent I was meant to be and the grace to try again when I am not, and most of all this work continues to lead me back to my Self. All of my Self- the parts I love and the parts I have orphaned and keep bringing back home so I can wipe their noses, bandage their skinned knees and be whole.”

Brene Brown Gifts of Imperfection 10th Anniversary edition

there are two things that are gratifyingly and painfully clear to me: 1. Transforming the ten guideposts of wholehearted living into daily lifelong practices is more work than I ever imagined. 2. Transforming the ten guideposts of wholehearted living into daily lifelong practices is more valuable than I ever imagined.”

Brene Brown Gifts of Imperfection 10th Anniversary edition

What is your experience with the Gifts of Imperfection?

How are you going with the 10 guideposts in Wholehearted Living?

Wholehearted Inventory (free for all to access):

https://brenebrown.com/wholeheartedinventory/

we’ve spent years building, testing, and validating our Wholehearted Inventory, which consists of ten subscales that align with the guideposts. This free online instrument will allow you to assess your strengths and opportunities for growth around the main topics explored in the book.”

Brene Brown Gifts of Imperfection 10th Anniversary edition

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More on Internal Family Systems (IFS):

The Four Basic Goals of IFS

1. Liberate parts from the roles they’ve been forced into, so they can be who they’re designed to be.

2. Restore trust in the Self and Self-Leadership.

3. Reharmonize the inner system.

4. Become more self-led in your interactions with the world.”

No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz

IFS insights into human nature include the following:

• It is normal for each person to have a number of parts. Having parts doesn’t make us crazy!
• Parts have positive intentions. To protect us, they often take on particular jobs or roles, but sometimes go a bit too far with them
• As well as our parts, we each have a Core Self. That’s who we are at the deepest level
• The Core Self is calm, compassionate, curious, clear-minded, connected, confident, courageous and creative
• IFS refers to a person’s inner world as that person’s “system.”

IFS therapy aims to build the relationship between a person’s Core Self and their parts. The goal of IFS therapy is to become Self-led, ie to reach a point where the Core Self is able to take the lead in actions and communication.

By Susan Gully here

Deep Parts Wisdom Workshop

Workshop Format:

Each 2 hour workshop will have a meditation/visualisation, free movement and intuitive journaling (drawing and /or writing), with a chance to explore the parts that get in the way of each guidepost as well as a chance to explore what would it feel like to embody more of the wholehearted qualities/Self-Energy we are reading about in the Gifts of Imperfection?

The magic of doing this healing work in a group setting is to witness other people’s parts (deeply comforting to know we are not alone in this journey) and to have our own imperfect, vulnerable and/or protective parts and our Core Self heard, seen and understood.

Workshop Content:

• Introduction / Week 1: Explore an IFS-informed explanation of the IFS model of Self and Protective and Vulnerable Parts, learn how to identify parts, when we are in Self-Energy and how this is related to the first 4 chapters of the Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown (Courage, Compassion, Connection, Love, Belonging, Being Enough and Things that get in the way)
• Week 2: Explore the parts within that are concerned about what others think and how they strive for perfection rather than living from a place of authentic Self and Self-Compassion? (Guidepost #1 and #2 from Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown)
• Week 3: Explore the parts that want to numb and that fear scarcity/lack rather than living from a place of resilience, gratitude and joy? (Guidepost #3 and #4)
• Week 4: Explore the parts obsessing with the need for certainty and comparison, rather than trusting intuition, faith and creativity? (Guidepost #5 and #6)
• Week 5: Explore the parts hooked on productivity, exhaustion and anxiety rather than play, rest and calm and stillness? (Guidepost #7 and #8)
• Week 6: Explore the parts consumed with self-doubt and being in control rather than engaging in meaningful work and laughter, song and dance? (Guidepost #9 and #10)

Workshop Details:

Deep Parts Wisdom (an IFS-informed 6 week group, 2 hours per week)

When: Thursdays 8:30am-10:30am AEST, 6 weeks, starting 11th May and finishing 15th June.

Where: In the comfort of your own home, on Zoom. (If there is enough interest after this trial group we hope to run more face to face groups – let me know if you are interested!)

Cost: 50% Discount as this first group is a trial: $20 per week, $120 in total, paid in full before group begins.

Numbers Limited: Small group of 6-8 participants, book early

Register and ask for more information by emailing Sara: saraphillipsnsw@gmail.com

What is needed: A copy of Brene Brown’s book, Gifts of Imperfection, is recommended for reading specific chapters each week. A journal with pen and crayons/pastels for writing and drawing, a private space for the workshop where you can move freely and comfortably as well as meditate/visualise without interruption.

Prerequisite: Experience with mindfulness, self-compassion, meditation/visualisation and/or journaling can be useful in this group setting. Please discuss with Sara if you have any questions. This workshop can be great to complete if you are supported by an IFS-informed therapist/coach, again check with Sara if you are wondering if this workshop is suitable for you.

An Introduction to Deep Parts Wisdom (a 2 hour IFS informed workshop on how to working with parts and be in Self).

When: Thursday 8:30am-10:30am AEST, 11th May 2023

Where: In the comfort of your own home, on Zoom. (If there is enough interest after this trial group we hope to run more face to face groups – let me know if you are interested!)

Cost: 50% Discount as this first group is a trial: $30 (paid before workshop begins, if numbers allow, it is possible to join for the remainder 5 weeks after this introduction workshop, $100 extra payment due before week 2).

Numbers Limited: Small group of 8-10 participants, book early

Register and ask for more information by emailing Sara: saraphillipsnsw@gmail.com

What is needed: A copy of Brene Brown’s book, Gifts of Imperfection, is recommended for reading specific chapters each week. A journal with pen and crayons/pastels for writing and drawing, a private space for the workshop where you can move freely and comfortably as well as meditate/visualise without interruption.

Prerequisite: Experience with mindfulness, self-compassion, meditation/visualisation and/or journaling can be useful in this group setting. Please discuss with Sara if you have any questions. This workshop can be great to complete if you are supported by an IFS-informed therapist/coach, again check with Sara if you are wondering if this workshop is suitable for you.

The next series of Deep Parts Wisdom Workshops will be August – Sept 2023, hopefully face to face and online.

Hope you and your Parts and your Self Energy can join me 🙂

Authentic Self Prayer

May we find the courage to let go of who we think we’re supposed to be so that we can fully embrace our authentic selves-the imperfect, the creative, the vulnerable, the powerful, the broken and the beautiful.

May we show ourselves and other the compassion that comes from knowing we are all made of strength and struggle.

May we create a just and equitable world where privilege isn’t a pre-requisite for self-expression and authenticity, where everyone feels invited and safe to express their power and their vulnerability.

And last may we experience the strength of connection, the love of belonging and the grace of pure joy.”

Brene Brown Gifts of Imperfection 10th Anniversary edition

More Exploration of the Gifts of Imperfection by Bene Brown: https://brenebrown.com/hubs/the-gifts-hub/

More on IFS and IFS Resources: https://deepheartwisdom.com/2023/02/28/a-part-of-me-feels-sad-and-yet-a-part-of-me-feels-free-what-is-ifs/